waking up…

How did I get here? Hmmm… in brief, unexpectedly. Saying a bit more…

Richard Rohr writes about a sequence of life which involves ‘order, disorder, and reorder,’ or put another way, ‘doing, undoing, and doing.’  Disorder, or undoing, can be quite challenging and it is in such times that we, and most certainly I want to thrown my hands in the air and just give up.  Perhaps I’ll escape to a place in the high mountains…. Or perhaps I’ll pull a Pynchon and simply disappear, antimatter to the matter which is social media and the need for followers.

So much undoing…. Society, Work, Family, Love…. And yet, through this undoing, this disorder, a fresh and vital reordering may occur.

Not too long ago a friend asked me to read a book he had written and to provide feed back and advice about publishing.  It was an engaging book and I felt it had real promise.  I suggested a number of things and offered to help prepare the manuscript for submission to literary agents.  After some months the friend contacted me and said he had decided not to seek an agent, saying, “I don’t care if no one likes the book, but I could not bear to put it out and have it go unnoticed.  For no one to care.”  Such uncertainty. No hits.  No followers.  No ‘friends.’

This made me sad for it is in the uncertainty of this ‘swamp’ (as my old mentor Don Schon referred to it) of disorder and undoing where real progress, real discovery may occur.  I may truly meet myself for the first time.

My first professional life as an architect was a good one.  My second professional life was also rewarding: professor, department head, dean….  Of course there were many years of order, disorder, and reorder.  And of course, nothing seems to go as planned…

For this site I will concentrate on my third professional life: music.  In May I will release two new collection of tunes.  It is a frightening thing to do.  After all, perhaps no one will care.  Perhaps no one will stream the new collections.  Nevertheless, I believe that when we engage in a creative act we do so because we “must.”  Moreover, in my experience virtually every field requires creativity.  Breakthroughs are not predetermined, but rather emerge from moments of uncertainty and careful “listening.” Order disorder, reorder…

Finally, because so much of my music draws from a particular philosophical grounding and my understandings of spirituality, I am including a brief statement on each…